This is a post for: people who hold it in

I figured that the most satisfying time in your life is not when you passed a test, got a raise/promotion, raised a fine kid, or even when you're having an huge orgasm. The most satisfying time in your life is when you have to take a piss so badly and you do.

This is a post for: ass-cracks

This is a post for all who have jeans so low that it shows their ass-cracks. I figured that if you're gonna show it, it's because you're using it. like having a pencil stuck between the crack... that'll hold it nicely: and useful too! in fact, you can put almost anything there. if it's fat enough you can put a cow. imagine. actually, no, don't... it's disgusting.

What I would love to see on a birthday card...

Congratulations! You're 21! No point stopping now huh..

Hooray! You're... what?! double digits? that was a quick decade of annoyance..

Good grief! 18! you're legal, let's have sex. Better yet, get me some beer.

Yay! You're Sixteen and gone all Goth! Well, looks like I finally won't be needing to invite those Happy Tree Friends of yours..

Yay! You're Sixteen and gone all Goth! Here's a penknife. Method of use: Start from the wrist and work your way up. If you're lucky you'll hit your heart at 25!

Well done! 30, re-married twice, 4 kids, unemployed... and a lovely mid-life crisis. Way to go buddy!

Woohoo! 40th! Statistically speaking, you're halfway towards your quota. cool huh. halfway.

Woohoo! 40th! Seeing that it's all downhill from here, it should be sweet. so take it easy grandpa.

Oh look! A 29th Birthday Card! You don't find one very often do ya? But here you go!
Moral: You only have mid-life crisis once and no one celebrates it. But really, you should, so let it go, you workaholic!

Oh look! A 29th Birthday Card! Not very common: produced just because it's prime. Hope you're there too.. or you're prime meat!

ah, love.
jason

Another reason why you should swear back.

The last time i heard SOS in morse code, i thought he was swearing at me. I ignored him, and it turned out to be fatal. If only I swore back...

just a thought...

if the only thing we could do with life is to lose it, and we are meant to live it to the fullest, then would it mean that we have done so only when we lose it? hmm.. ;)